As someone who recently ran a half marathon for the first time, I'll be the first to admit that all the stereotypes about being from the Lower Mainland are (unfortunately) rooted in some truth.
Do you currently have a Strava account and your favorite gel? Absolutely. Instead of shying away from my Vancouverism, I learned to lean into it. And you can too, as this Skirmish action figure set is on sale for $420 on Facebook Marketplace.
Are they real or AI-generated jokes? Honestly, who cares? In any case, they all feel too familiar.
The numbers include:
- Ultra trail runners have ripped abs, multiple shoes, and plenty of protein tubs.
- Dirtbag climbers definitely live in their cars (or tents).
- The hippie critic (let's be honest, we all know one): the one who rides his shopping cart down the aisles of rapid consumerism like a magic carpet, preaching light and love.
- Momfluencer with baby accessories and everything.
- Newcomer in town: Someone who shows up on the West Coast and quickly decides to go 100% outdoors.
- Toddler Shredder: A kid who was destined for the Northwest lifestyle before he was even born and is already a better mountain biker than you.
- The developer: A fast-talking guy in a suit, ready to turn Squamish's stunning landscape into a mansion tower.
- Official trails are cursed by unauthorized trail builders determined to fix it on every mountain.
- The Last Logger: Squamish's OG!
- An old DJ. (No, we believe in you, brother. We're sure your show was meant to be all along.)
All of this can be yours for $420 (unless it's just a genius prank, that is). Act now. Buyer promises that no inflated egos are involved.
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