Written by Stephen Beach, via SWNS
Pressure to be 'perfect' parents is causing 'burnout' in mothers and fathers and stressing their children, new research has warned.
Research shows that anxiety and depression skyrocket among people who feel the weight of a culture of achievement.
A survey of more than 700 American parents found that more than half (57 percent) reported burnout.
Experts say that parental burnout is linked to internal and external expectations, such as whether one feels like a good parent, how others judge them, how much time they spend playing with their children, their relationship with their spouse, and keeping the house clean. It is said that they are strongly related.
However, the more free play time mothers and fathers have with their children and the less burden they have on structured extracurricular activities, the fewer mental health problems children will have.
The study also showed that parents' mental health and behavior had a “strong influence” on their children's mental health.
If their child has a mental health disorder, parents have higher levels of burnout and are more likely to insult, criticize, yell at, abuse, or physically hurt their child. I am reporting.
Lead researcher Professor Kate Gawlik, herself a working mother of four, said fantasies and expectations of “perfect parenting” can be deflating.
Gawlik said:
“I can see people on Instagram, I can see people just walking around, and I'm always thinking, 'How do they do it?' ” Why do they always seem to have it all together when I don't?
“We have high expectations for ourselves as parents. We have high expectations for what our children should do.
“On the other hand, you're going to compare yourself to other people and other family members and a lot of judgments are going to be made. And whether it's intentional or not, it's still there. ”
Research data shows that the power of expectations from what Gawlik calls a “culture of achievement” causes burnout (a state of physical and mental exhaustion), which in turn causes other health problems. There is.
“Parent burnout leads to more depression, anxiety, and stress, but it also worsens behavioral and emotional outcomes for children,” said Dr. Bernadette Melnyk, chief health officer at The Ohio State University.
“So if you're experiencing parental burnout, it's so important to face your true story and take steps to improve your self-care.”
The new report updates the team's 2022 study that measured burnout among working parents during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.
They launched the first-of-its-kind Working Parent Burnout Scale, a 10-item survey that allows moms and dads to measure their burnout in real time and use evidence-based solutions. I devised this.
Dr. Melnyk said: “Positive parenting means not only giving your children lots of love and warmth, but also providing structure and guidance to their lives.
“You gently teach them the consequences of their actions. So being a positive parent is a much better goal than being a perfect parent.”
Strategies include active listening, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, recalibrating expectations for parents and children, and reflecting on priorities before taking action.
Gaurik says: “If you make it a priority to keep your home clean, but you don't feel like you have time to go for a walk with your kids every night, you may need to reorganize or find a home.” It’s a way to make both work.”
Dr. Melnyk said an evidence-based approach can help calm parental burnout, which she calls a “public health epidemic.”
she said: She said: 'Parents do a great job of caring for their children and others, but they often don't prioritize their own care.
“As parents, we can't keep pouring from an empty cup. Children who see their parents practicing good self-care are likely to grow up with those values.
“It has a ripple effect on all children and families.”
Professor Gawlik added: “One parent said to me, “I think it's much better to have a happy child than a perfect child.''