- A Pennsylvania mother posted a TikTok video about hosting a birthday party that sparked debate online.
- She doesn't plan to have a birthday party for her daughter every year, opting for a family celebration instead.
- Her mother told BI she was unfazed by the online criticism.
A Pennsylvania mother has dismissed criticism, saying she no longer hosts her daughter's birthday party every year.
The debate sparked earlier this month following comments made by Marissa Wright. A four-minute TikTok video shared by has garnered 412,00 views and 10,000 likes in just two weeks. Wright told her Business Insider in an email that she has seen the negative comments but is unfazed.
“It was definitely interesting to go viral, but it's actually not the first time we've dealt with negative comments or viral videos,” Wright said. “I've never put anything on the internet that I don't support, so it doesn't really bother me.”
“Under no circumstances will I throw my daughter a birthday party every year,” Wright said at the beginning of the video.
She continued, “Here's the deal: She gets her first birthday party, she gets her Sweet Sixteen, and she gets her graduation party. Other than that, she doesn't get any more birthday parties.”
Wright, who tagged the video with “#hotmomtake,” said she didn't want to “force” her family and friends to attend a party they didn't enjoy.
“Now, I've been to many birthday parties for my kids, ages 3, 7, 12…I'm sorry, but as someone who didn't have kids at the time, it wasn't fun. ” Wright said. “And I don't think the child knows I was there. I'm not going to force that on her friends and family.”
Wright added that parents who like to throw parties should continue, but she didn't feel an annual event was necessary. Instead, Ms. Wright plans to have a small gathering with her family for her daughter's birthday.
“We have dinner and cake with them every year to celebrate my daughter's birthday, and every year on her birthday we plan to have a 'Daisy Day' or an 'All About You Day.' ” she said.
Wright said “Daisy Day” could include a special breakfast, fun activities, toy shopping and other birthday-themed entertainment.
In the same video, Wright told viewers that her daughter might want to have a birthday party someday, and that's okay. Wright's daughter will then have the option of having a “Daisy Day” or a traditional birthday party.
“I want to say this as someone who's been to a lot of events and feels obligated to participate, but I'm not going to do that,” she says, adding that hosting an event is Added that it would be stressful and probably the party wouldn't be as much fun.
“I don't want a bunch of people sitting at home all day,” she said in the video.
Wright's video attracted more than 4,500 comments, many of which were polarizing. Some commenters praised Wright's idea.
“It's the perfect setting. When she's so young that she's not interested in parties, give her the day. When she wants a party, you join. It's perfect.” one person wrote.
However, others criticized it. They said her daughter would regret not having her birthday party.
“Everyone deserves a birthday party every year. Even if it's just a small party with a few close friends,” the user wrote.
“I never had a birthday party since I was a child and I always envied the kids in my class who had birthday parties. I'm currently pregnant, but if she wanted, I would have a party,” he added. Some people did.
In her statement to BI, Wright also referenced a TikTok user who suggested she didn't want to make the effort to celebrate her daughter's birthday.
“In fact, I think my 'All About You' day requires just as much effort, if not more, than throwing a big party every year,” Wright said. “It's about creating happy, special memories for your child and giving them options, especially once they're old enough to choose how they want to spend their special day.”
She added, “The job of being a mother never ends, but the birthdays I get to spend with my children are numbered, and I want to be as present as possible for each of them.''